Bullshit: An Exact Science
Men’s logic: Cause for concern > concerns expressed > respect for [said] concerns not given > man becomes angry at lack of respect for his concerns > woman becomes angry at his anger > woman defends her actions for 2 hours > man becomes infuriated and begins to give up on woman > woman begins to cry because this all happened suddenly to her > man leaves in order to breathe air that doesn’t smell like bullshit > man expects an apology.
Woman’s logic: Cause for concern > concerns expressed > respect for [said] concerns not given > man becomes angry at lack of respect for his concerns > woman becomes angry at his anger > woman defends her actions for 2 hours > man becomes infuriated and begins to give up on woman > woman begins to cry because this all happened suddenly to her > man leaves in order to breathe air that doesn’t smell like bullshit > man expects an apology.
No matter how bittersweet, some people just don’t need to be together.
I feel like I just lost my best friend over a relationship that did nothing but force me to lose my youthful romanticism, and overall trust in women.
She wanted to be my first of many things, and she got just that, but the bad firsts outweigh the good.
First girl to lie to me, first to cheat, first to break her promises, first to take advantage of me, first girl I ever feared I might hurt someday, and the first girl to make me feel physically and sexually inadequate.
The good? There was a time where I adored her, and considered her ‘the one’, I now feel closer to realizing exactly what kind of girl I want to marry one day, and could love for the rest of my life. That girl is basically her, but without all the doubt, attitude, bitterness, and reckless behavior. I was so close, too. If only she would have known a good thing while she had it —while I still had the patience to wait for her to grow up.
One of the most frustrating social conventions for me would have to be that men have to initiate, pay for, and vocalize everything FOR WOMEN. So what we get are a bunch of girls who are waiting to be asked on a date, whom have never bothered to give a hint at whether or not they would even accept the offer. It’s like Russian Roulette on the guy’s end of things.
If a guy complains that a girl doesn’t want him, it’s because he’s offered his feelings and has been shot down. When a girl complains that a man doesn’t want her, it’s because she’s over-thought the idea so much that she’s talked herself out of even liking the guy anymore because she’s convinced that he doesn’t like her back.
Service those sensitive plumbing parts!
What is it with guys not giving oral to girls!? You have no idea how many girls come to me and tell me they’ve been sexually active for several years and have yet to receive oral from any guy.
Poor things! I wish I could just take you all in and take care of you like lil orphans. My doors are always open. :3
13 steps to becoming a SLUT (guaranteed)
1. DO NOT choose between two best friends after you’ve already expressed interest in both.
2. DO NOT get involved with one of the two, then move onto the other.
3. DO NOT suggest that the one you chose second agree to a threesome with the one you chose before him.
4. DO NOT ignore your boyfriend/girlfriend when they say that you are not over the first choice that you promised to let go of.
5. DO NOT juggle both of these people in your heart in secret. Or misrepresent your feelings to either.
6. DO NOT allow the former choice to expose their nakedness to you, especially in front of the latter choice.
7. NEVER condone the nakedness of the former, should they chose to reveal their nakedness to you.
8. NEVER show affection towards the former choice, especially in front of the latter choice.
9. NEVER spend time alone with the former at the expense of the latter’s trust in you.
10. If you’ve failed to follow steps 1-9, then DO NOT be surprised when you find yourself fucking the person who came before the person you’re with.
11. DO NOT keep your cheating a secret for any extended length of time. The longer you wait to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend, the longer your boyfriend/girlfriend will be aware that you are able to deceptively appear innocent.
11. NEVER, EVER beg to be forgiven for cheating, if you’re not prepared to be treated like a cheater until you’ve proven yourself trustworthy again.
12. If you’ve failed to follow all of these steps, DO NOT be surprised that your boyfriend/girlfriend has been secretly looking for your replacement since step 3. He/She is justified.
13. And lastly, YES you are now considered a SLUT.
I wish it was possible to find sexy swimwear for men without having to find sexy GAY men’s swimwear in the process. Funny thing is, women don’t have to worry about this, because there’s no such thing as lesbian swimwear. Sexy is just sexy when it comes to women, but for men, it’s MANLY, or TWINK.
So if you guys can find me some sexy swimwear that’s only slightly gay, then I’d be very grateful. I still want a beastly tan when I wear them. Whatever they are.
Equality among the genders as I see it.
If girls can tell each other they’re sexy in public, compliment each other’s outfits, share fashion and hair secrets, shop together, dress/undress together, eat out together, and go online to look at pictures of other sexy girls for guidance on how they should try to look better, and tell each other how great they look…
Then as a guy, I should be able to get away with all of these things focused on my own gender, without being seen as gay. Because if I’m gay for it, you bitches are all homos to the extreme.