If you wanna talk to me, fine.

But if you’re also talking to my best friend, count me out of that dance party. I don’t do that dance.

Some ships are meant to keep sailing, and others should never have docked.

If money was no object

I’d finally have the balls to admit to myself that my mom isn’t worth my time.

I learned it for myself, and now she gets to find out.

Life has the funniest way of making Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X. Not sure if that applies, but I’ll go with it. And so again, through another’s experience from the other side of the equation, we learn that “You’re not always your type’s type.”

Do you believe in “Mom?”

Do you believe in “Mom?”

10 facts about me.

1. If I’m awkward around you, then you’re awkward.
2. If I’m awesome around you, then you’re awesome.
3. I have baggage, it’s mine, not yours. So don’t make it your problem.
4. I don’t like being mocked, take me seriously, or you’re getting ignored.
5. Don’t set high standards for me, It’s bad enough I can’t keep up with my own.
6. I’m not asking you to relate to my life story, I just want you listen, and learn why I am who I am.
7. I don’t want your advice. And on the rare occasion I ask for it, don’t get pissed off if I don’t take it.
8. Everyone gets two chances with me. After that, we’re done talking.
9. If I take the time to say “Hi’, be flattered. You did something right.
10. Don’t take me for granted, you might be missing out on a free lunch.